Heartbreak...we've all been there, and it sucks. I'm all for being open and honest, but you know what? If you're on a dating site, it's probably not the best idea to tell everyone that you had the worst year of your life because of your crazy ex-girlfriend. Better yet, you should say this instead...
"Seeking a devastatingly good looking girl (better looking than my meanie ex I'm trying my darnedest to stop obsessing over, would love to get super happy and in love and throw it in her face) to date and/or murry and have cute babies with."
You should also post a picture of her and say that this is the "score to beat." Here she is in case you're curious...
What am I supposed to do? Guys on OkCupid get upset when I don't respond to their messages and then it's even worse when I do respond and tell them I'm not interested. You're also not going to guilt me into going on a date with you buy saying mean things. Rejection sucks all around, guys. Deal with it.
This poor guy sent me four messages. If I didn't respond the first time, what makes you think I'll respond if you keep pestering me? Also, I think you're a little too old to be using "lolz."
PaliCali / 44 / Straight / Single / 5'11" / Body Type: Average / 87% Match
Wow, I can't believe my eyes! Not only did your smile/laugh catch my eye, but we both live in the same area. That's unbelievable. I've been on this thing for a few months and this is a first!
Do you ever walk over to the farmers market? Do you shop at Ralphs, Gelsons or Vons? LOL
I see you're an actress, I'm on the other side of the entertainment equation, I'm a writer (and also a comic book cartoonist).
Anyway, I am flabbergasted, flummoxed and fazed! Hope to hear back from you, you're like beyond geographically desirable, we're basically in each other's business! YEAH!
P.S. - If you'd like to bypass this OKCupid thingy, I can be reached at:
Hope you're having a great evening....we're lucky to live in this community, huh?
*Oh, and in case you're wondering, it's a character from PLANET OF THE APES. lolz
P.S. I just added a few extra and more recent pics if you'd like to check my profile out again...
By the way, you mentioned you enjoyed the novel Fahrenheit 451. I met Ray Bradbury right here in the Village - he was lecturing and I wrote an article about his appearance. This was in 2008. Ain't that cool?
UPDATE: Hahahahaha...So, OKC tells you who visits your profile, and of course, I had to go to this guy's to get a picture. Apparently, that means that I want to meet up.
How about meeting up for some coffee?
This online stuff is so impersonal, you can't get a real sense of somebody unless we met in person.
Can we meet either during a weekday or on an evening sometime next week? I write for a newspaper and my schedule is pretty flexible.
Patio of the Starbucks?
I'm starting to feel bad because he's obviously delusional. Should I tell him I'm not interested?
Courtesy of Matt from Tinder at 7:29AM.
"I want to go down on you until you're fully satisfied"
I wonder if any girls actually say yes. At least he wants to put my needs first...?
A few days ago, a guy came up to me at the mall. He was kind of nice, with only the slightest bit of creeper to him (I think it was the weird facial hair). Well, I'm trying this whole "say yes to life" thing, so I was nice, chatted with him and gave him my number, even though he wouldn't stop talking, showed me pictures on his phone, and forgot my name. He's also in the middle of taking a year off to travel the country, so I'm not really sure what he was getting after anyway. He said he was leaving in two days, but wanted to take me out before then. Sorry i can't (really, not a lie) but he still wanted my number anyway. He texted me ten minutes after I walked away "Sorry for being random" and then an hour later "Are you alive?" What, because I didn't respond to your text message right away? I was thinking about it before, but you kind of made up my mind for me. So, I didn't respond.
Earlier today, I was having lunch with a friend and I get a phone call from some number in Palmdale. I don't like to answer random calls, but my friend told me to answer it. Ok, fine. It went a little something like this...
Him: Is this Lauren?
Me: Yes it is
Him: This is the police
Me: Ok (for a second I thought Ryan was trying to play a prank or something)
Him: You're under arrest
Me: For what (still thinking Ryan is behind this)
Him: Ah I'm just kidding. It's ____, the guy you met at the mall (I never learned his name)
Me: Oh ya. Hey.
Him: Did you get my text message?
Him: Well I'm driving to Las Vegas right now and thought of you.
Me: I'm having lunch with a friend. I really can't talk right now. Bye.
An hour later I get a text message of a picture of a crying boy that says "This is how a feel right now. Shame on you for giving out your number and then flaking. Bad bad bad."
Oh you're so right. After seeing this message I've realized the error of my ways. How about I meet you in Vegas so we can elope. Ugh.
I had to cut Ryan loose tonight. We had tentative plans to hang out tomorrow, and I honestly enjoy spending time with him, but he's just been a little too clingy. I don't know about you, but I don't send random selfies to guys I'm just hanging out with. I'd share some of the ones he sent with you, but they're kind of embarrassing and believe it or not, I do have a conscience. I think the straw that broke the camel's back was when he freaked out a little last Thursday after we had gone out Tuesday and Wednesday. He asked me when I wanted to hang out again and I said maybe Monday. (I had a busy weekend...this isn't a lie) Here's how the convo went...
Him: Let me know if your interested in hanging out more. i don't mind riding over it's not that far for me.
(Oh ya, he doesn't own a car and rides his bike everywhere, so we all knew this wasn't going to last for long)
Me: Maybe next Monday?
Him: Can we communicate openly here haha, I am so confused.
Me: Confused about what?
Him: It seems like you enjoy your time with me in person. And don't like to talk when we aren't hanging out. I didn't mean hang out today Monday is totally find, does this make any sense? lol
Me: What are you confused about? I can't really hang out until Monday. And you know I don't really like chatting through text...
Him: I am overthinking - Monday is good. Have a good day
Me: Haha ya you're overthinking. I like hanging out with you but I want to remind you that I'm not looking for a relationship...
Him: No worries you don't have to remind me.
All this from a guy who has admitted he get as emotional as a teenage girl (ya he said that). I can't even handle my own emotions right now let alone coddle his.
Sooo...I'm sorry, Ryan. I just wanted someone to hang out with every once in a while. I really don't want to lead you on, so I don't think we should hang out anymore.
Dewey have to use a condom?
This hilarious joke courtesy of Antoine from Tinder
I had my second date with Ryan, a guy I met on Tinder. I've already told him multiple times that I'm not looking for a relationship, but I don't think it's sinking in. He'll say "I know you're not looking for anything serious, but I'm going to Korea in February and if we're still talking then, it'd be fun if you came with me." He's also asked me to be his date for New Years. When I told him I'll be home with my family, he said that he'd have to fly there. I'm sorry, what?
He's actually a pretty nice guy. 6' maybe 6'1". Ex-SWAT leader and now hoping to be a Santa Monica police officer. Even if I was looking for a relationship, I don't think I could ever date a guy with a dangerous job - police officers, firemen, and the like, no matter how sexy shooting a gun and saving people from burning buildings can make someone. It is, however, really nice to have a big bicep to hold on to. Not so nice when you're wishing he were someone else. Also when he kisses me, it feels like he's trying to crush my face wish his lips. We'll see how the third date goes. I usually like to cut it off after that because that's when they start expecting things from you...I do kind of want to keep him around because he said he'd take me to a shooting range. Sounds like an awesome time to me.
PS. If I censor the eyes, I can totally post these pictures, right?